#FOODFOREPLAY

They were 2 and 5 years old. I kissed them each on their rosy cheeks.  As they hopped out of the car, I had a flood of excitement and anxiety wash over me. “I love you mama” they would say as they shut the car door.

The whole weekend was about to be all mine.  What could I possibly do with a whole weekend to myself?  This idea was so open, spacious, free – but somehow wrought with slight panic and fear all at the same time.

At times, this fear would feel slightly paralyzing.  After being solely focused on mothering these two adorable little rascals 24-7, I just wasn’t sure what to do with 'just me' for a whole weekend.

The transition was always tough.  I wanted and needed nothing more than a break and some time for myself, but it took a while for it to settle in and feel okay.

In the beginning, I would head back home, sit, stare, and wait for the uncomfortable to pass.  Sometimes, it would be slow, stagnant and I would wish for it to end.

My emotions felt strong, but my appetite – gone.  Honestly, I could barely muster a bowl of popcorn for dinner.  This post-divorce eating pattern was no bowl of cherries, but rather one that was keeping me tired, depleted, weak, and under-nourished – every other week.

After some serious PTSD, a few dizzy spells, one intense fainting episode, 20 pounds of unhealthy weight loss, and a lot of therapy, I knew something had to change.

I had been reading Bri Maya Twari's book called ThePath of Practice.  In her lineage, cooking and feeding oneself was considered one of the most effective paths to healing.

So... this one particular night instead of falling into an old pattern of barely eating while they were gone, I decided to do something different.

I walked through the Whole Foods store picking out “Sue” food.

This was a new thing, and one that seemed to help this awkward moment of transition.

I could do this!  Dinner for one.

After a few tries, this new ritual settled in a bit and I began to find myself looking forward to it.  A yummy dinner, some beautiful ambiance, soft candle light, a long bubble bath, and time just for me.

My new practice of sensual eating and self-care was working.  The transitions were getting easier, my time alone – more comfortable, and from time to time, I would even invite some friends over to join me.

Sensual eating was saving my soul.

The act of cooking for and feeding myself was soul nourishment – physical healing + self-love.

  Keep reading to learn about #FoodForeplay and find out exactly what I did that created a shift for my health and healing.

• The most essential ways to use sensual eating to heal your relationship to food
• How to begin your #FoodForeplay practice?
• Dinner for one to dinner for two...
• A bonus Aphrodite meditation

Sensual Eating

Bringing heightened senses to your mealtime is the perfect place to start.  Just like sipping a full-bodied glass of red wine, or nibbling a gourmet piece of dark chocolate, all of our senses become part of the experience.

When we fine dine, part of the experience is the beauty of the food and how it is presented, plated and served.  We can too brighten up our daily meals this way with simple attention to color, ambiance, and creative expression.

While we cook, we smell the scents of the spices and nuances of flavors merging with our olfactory sense – our oldest sense.  We also are witness to the sounds of the chopping, sizzling, roasting, and blending.

While we eat, we taste each bite, mindfully noticing the merging of all the flavors and textures.

#FoodForeplay is your own personal practice – your own personal recipe for foodie pleasure.  There is no right or wrong way – simply your way, your palate, your preference.

When we enjoy food this way – in a ritualized, mindful setting – a mind-body healing emerges.  When we tap into our pleasure practices at mealtime, the plated pleasures begin to diffuse into other areas of our lives.  When we nurture our whole beings – including all of the senses – we become more satiated. This satiation is not only about our bellies being full, but rather a holistic experience that involves our body, mind, and soul.

How To Start

I always say start small, one meal at a time.  Make a date with yourself to begin your #FoodForeplay adventures.  Take yourself to the grocery store without a rush or an agenda.  Meander through the aisles looking for food that intrigues you, food that calls to you, or food that looks like it would be fun for you to cook.

This could involve trying something new – like visiting an old family favorite, checking out a alluring sensual fruit, or gathering some prepared food that sparks your interest. This is ALL about you.

One of my favorite things to do is create a plate of delicacies that are similar to what you would find on a charcuterie plate.  Nothing cooked, no recipe to follow, just a delight for the palate – olives, prosciutto, Humboldt Fog (my favorite cheese), flax crackers, humus, and Spanish almonds.

When Dinner for One turns to Dinner for Two

Sensual eating is nothing new.  In fact, food has been a part of foreplay and love making rituals in cultures far and wide since the beginning of time.

Our pleasure starts with us through food, through nature, through laughter, through sensual touch, through scent, and beauty. When we activate our pleasure center, we feel uplifted and we are magnetic to others.

When we know how to receive pleasure, we can better give pleasure. 

There is much exploration for us here: When we invite another into our #FoodForeplay an array of things can happen…

• A sensual meal can simply involve sharing in the invigorating of the senses.
• A sensual meal can activate our inner pleasure palace and connection with our beloved.
• A sensual meal can be the co-creation of both partners – a creative and collaborative spark.
• A sensual meal experience can turn on our erotic, lustful, sensual passion.

Everything cooked for our lover is sensual.  Love and pleasure infused into our cooking are the strongest aphrodisiacs that exist.

As aromas billow from the skillet, and broth bubbles in the soup pot, we linger in the kitchen glancing sweetly into the eyes of each other, with heightened senses, savoring each tantalizing moment.

Women especially, are inclined towards rituals. Lighting candles, arranging beautiful flowers, setting up a sacred space for all of our meal pleasures to take place.  When we slow down and presence ourselves, this #FoodForeplay opportunity can be just the right ingredient to create the erotic and desirous atmosphere to enhance any relationship.

Dinner for 2 can also include cooking together as pieces of lingerie fall to the floor, feeding each other one savory bite at a time, or adding in an array of aphrodisiacs for his and her pleasure to your meal.

You can read my previous article all about the most delicious and delightful aphrodisiacs HERE.

Once your exquisite dinner has been prepared and served, the lingering plated poetry has been relished, the collective artistry can be revealed between two people with a slow, seductive, sensory sensation.

Listen to the Inner Aphrodite Meditation below:

A memoir of the senses

Her breath is like honey spiced with cloves

Her mouth delicious as a ripened mango

To press kisses on her skin is to taste the lotus

The deep cave of her navel hides a store of spices

What pleasure lies beyond, the tongue knows

But cannot speak of it

Kumaradadatta, 12th century

LET GO AND FEEL THE INCREDIBLE LIGHTNESS OF LESS

LET GO AND FEEL THE INCREDIBLE LIGHTNESS OF LESS

This past Saturday morning, I sat up in my adorable little yurt, just as the sun was rising over the Sangre De Cristo mountains.  I reached for my cozy slippers (I had brought them with me) and meandered over to the community kitchen to pour myself some hot tea.

As I walked back, the steam was rising off of my tea cup on this particularly chilly fall mountain morning. I quickly snuggled back into bed, still in full view of the sunrise, to contemplate the day, our retreat schedule and our group intentions.

HONESTLY, I DIDN'T WANT THAT MOMENT TO END.

Last weekend, I took an incredibly beautiful journey through the Colorado mountains, to our Fall Full Moon women’s retreat.

The early morning mountain sunrises were amazing, not to mention the warm soothing hot springs, a brilliant harvest full moon, and delicious fall-inspired food. With a deep inquiry into our personal limiting beliefs and old outdated ways around health and happiness, it was magical.

I feel lucky to have been immersed in feeling the beauty of the seasonal shift. (see photos below)

With the changing golden leaves and the fall afternoon light that seems to hit the aspen trees just right, nature displayed quite a presentation – hello Autumn.

EACH SEASON IS STEEPED WITH ITS OWN ENERGETIC IMPRINT AND GUIDANCE FOR LIVING WISELY FROM THE INSIDE OUT.

As the leaves were falling to the ground in their bright orange and reds, there was an innate sense of letting go that I was able to acknowledge.  The gravity of Autumn is a metaphor for both our relationship to self and our relationship to nature.

Aligning ourselves inside and out with what is occurring around us in nature is a beautiful way to begin the radiant transition into a new season – Autumn.

Autumn is the time of transformation between the growth of summer and the dormancy of winter. Things are winding down, and once the harvest is complete, there is an opportunity to follow the inward flow into self-inquiry and inner listening – ground into the wisdom of the body and mind, compost and let go of what is now longer serving us.

Preparing for a strong and vital experience during the change of seasons can come with many inspirations inner and outer. Often, in the fall we talk of letting go, descending into the underworld, and a pulsation of contraction that guides us to listen deeper.

WHAT CAN YOU LET GO OF THIS FALL?

Letting go can be a little awkward and uncomfortable.  Whether it is letting go of an outdated habit, a tired old negative thought, a bunch of old clothes that are cluttering up your closet, or a limiting belief about yourself, prepare yourself for some feelings.

Nothing supports this better than slowing down and savoring some extra sweet self-care, and the space to be in the peace of nature.

"IF YOU LET GO A LITTLE, YOU WILL HAVE A LITTLE PEACE.  IF YOU LET GO A LOT, YOU WILL HAVE A LOT OF PEACE."

~AJAHN CHAH

Since it is the time of year that the season tells us to let go so I wrote you a few nuggets to help you along.

1. Align with your WHY

What are you up to these days?

What are your priorities in your life?

What are you seeking?

These, and many other questions like these, will help you to reveal the truth of your WHY.

When you are clear with your WHY and the big picture of what you are seeking, you are then able to shed all of those things that do not align with your life.

This could be a habit that doesn't support you, an old pair of jeans that remind you of your past, or even an old pattern you have with eating that feels obsolete.

This could also be something internal, like a thought or an internal dialogue pattern that does not evoke momentum towards your priorities and your WHY.

Once you align with your WHY, and your true vision of heart, it is a lot easier to let go of the things that do not serve you.

You still might notice that letting go conjures up some emotional response for you, a little pulling on your heartstrings, or feeling as though you're not sure who you would be without your old ways.

Most would agree, it is worth a bit of feeling uncomfortable, awkward, or even a little bit vulnerable, so that you can clear away those old templates that no longer serve you.

Recently, for me personally, it seems to be that I am working with my internal thoughts that are keeping me small, as well as the clearing out old belongings that no longer feel energetically aligned – mostly from my closet. Clearing out my old thoughts (at least working on it) and old clutter creates a nice lightness in my body and mind.

Old traits and old treasures carry energy. How we think, how we eat, how we practice our daily self-care, how we dress, how we create a sacred space in our homes and lives, and those with whom we surround ourselves are some good places to start.

2. Release your Resistance

Here’s what I also know about letting go: The most terrifying part is just before you loosen your grip. Once you let go, momentum will take over and you will feel lighter and more free than ever before.

When we hang on, it is our resistance.  Resistance is tricky, sneaky, and loves to keep us stuck.

What we need is to build momentum, and the ease will come.  In the meantime, notice where you are procrastinating, covering up feelings, or numbing yourself.

So often we hang on to something or some of our ways because of fear.  We don’t know what is coming, so our minds choose something with which we are already familiar.

Old, outdated inner and outer qualities can weigh us down. They can make us feel heavy and stuck, lethargic and hopeless, and simply block the full expression of our hearts and our WHY.

Acknowledging the fear of unfamiliar ways, new beginnings, and the releasing of the old is medicine during a letting go process.  If you feel it, you can heal it. When you loosen your grip on these old ways, a comforting sense of freedom and lightness emerges.

3. Transfigure, Transform and Thrive

Just like the leaves falling to the ground composting and fertilizing the earth for next year's bounty and bloom when we let go of things that do not serve us, they too compost into a bigger and brighter space for the new to come in and bloom.

This process of downward decomposition into the earth that we witness both inside and out is one that is familiar to the nature of our bodies since the beginning of time.

So often, we think of ourselves as observers or witnesses to nature's beauty and energetics, when really, we feel the same energetic pulls as all of nature because truthfully, we are nature.

The gravity of fall is a specific type of energy that calls us to let go, release the old and reveal the new bigger and better parts of ourselves.  It is exciting.  A journey into the depths of your soul's intentions and purposeful life.

We are always growing and changing.  Nothing in life stays the same.  Enjoy the process this fall as you synch up with the beauty and sweetness of the season.

Here are some photos from our magical retreat weekend: